Thoughts for the worried parent of a young athlete

There are two pieces in any competitive scenario: 1) physical skills/ capacities and, 2) emotional/ psychological strength/ coping

The two pieces are independent – they evolve and extend separately – and they’re also mutually dependent during competition.  The stronger I am in the physical requirements of the task, the less likely I am to be stretched psychologically, and vice versa

This appearance of entanglement can paralyse young athletes, parents, and coaches but it doesn’t have to.  Though they relate, psychological coping and physical capacity are separate expressions of a person, and independent tools for sport.  They can be understood and managed discretely and gains, however modest, will move performance forward

There are some very simple rules that help:

• Patience is essential.  We are patient with schooling, and we are happy to leave the detail to the teachers.  We don’t speak of abandoning vocations for teenagers who may be struggling with a school subject or of insisting that teachers demonstrate progress with vocational specialisation in mind.  It is sufficient that progress is demonstrable in a net general sense.  Children vary enormously – that is the nature of childhood.  We must see them for who they are and not who we would wish them to be
• Children need help developing and maintaining perspective.  How is this to be, if parents and coaches lose theirs?
• Anxiety and emotions in sport are normal but they can get easily out of control.  The likelihood that a child will experience high emotions reflects the importance placed on the occasion/ situation and their emotional bank account.  If you are calm and happy, they are much more likely to be.  If they observe that you see a wonderful future for them, without qualification, then they are much more likely to believe that as well
• Self-belief is the most important outcome of sport and it requires a positive psychological environment.  Simple explanations and simple solutions, with lots of practice is all that is needed
• Instead of trying to produce a world champion, how about just helping the child to be the best them.  This approach does not mean they cannot become a world beater.  Rather, it’s about changing the way you view them.  Instead of comparing them to an ideal, and focusing on what’s missing, you see them for what and who they are.  Decisions made from that perspective will reflect their needs and that is the only pathway that leads forward