The big, common mistakes in junior tennis

Part1. Forgetting that they’re kids, and that a child’s motivation is not world domination. 

Children want to have fun and to be recognised for their efforts.  Superstars get lots of attention and children can come to believe that attention/ recognition, and achievement are interconnected.  They shouldn’t be.  A hug, and praise for hard-work is all that a child needs.

Part2. Tolerating disrespectful behaviour and reinforcing emotional reactivity. 

Sport can be cruel, and tennis is as tough an environment as there is: one-on-one in a small arena surrounded by partisan spectators.  To heighten things even further, every point has an obvious binary outcome: win or loss.  Tennis players are modern gladiators and we should expect and understand some anxiety as a natural reaction, but there are a couple of vital points about emotional/ psychological stability that parents and coaches must understand:

1)      If children do not learn to manage emotions when they are young, they will have only a limited capacity to manage them when they are older

2)      We cannot both be rational and emotional at the same time and playing tennis and hitting tennis balls are not the same thing.  Developing a deeper tactical appreciation and the ability to read an opponent and the rhythm of a match is critical but very difficult to do when we are worried about making mistakes or losing.  Children must learn to be OK with mistakes or they will be ruled by fear and tension

There is no excuse for tolerating disrespectful/ rude behaviour and poor sportsmanship.  Individuals with no respect for others will struggle to respect themselves. 

Part3. Misunderstanding the relationship between adult performance and junior development.
Our best years in sport are in our late 20s, if we can stay involved.  The years before our 20s serve two critical purposes: to provide a reason to stay involved, and to engineer a skills and work capacity foundation.  Why would anyone persist with an activity over so many years?  Because they enjoy it and it feels worthy of their effort.  It’s the nature of sport to ‘eliminate’ individuals.  Win move on; lose and you’re out.  Our role, as parents and coaches, is to build a deeper, richer narrative.  My favourite sport currently with respect to the training experience is cycling.  Cycling has an outstanding social structure (peer to peer, novice to experienced, child to adult) and it also provides a broad stimulus: long and slow, short and fast, hills and flat.  Children find something to hang their hats on every week, and that’s exactly what must happen if there is to be any chance they will stay for the long haul.  Does your child’s tennis experience provide a rich social and training experience?

The rare example of a junior succeeding on an adult stage (e.g. Maria Sharapova winning Wimbledon as a 17 y/o) is not a signpost, it’s an outlier.  A statistical anomaly.  You’re comfortable sending your children to school 5 days/week, 40 weeks/ year, for 13 years without overwhelming either of you with conversations about becoming doctors or lawyers so why do we treat sport differently?  Excellence is day to day, week to week application to a curriculum of learning.  13 years of primary and secondary schooling before University and vocational training is even contemplated.  All children are expected to develop a deep understanding of the core competencies.  But most important of all, your child must turn up every day, of every week, for a minimum of 10 years.  Attendance/ adherence drives everything.