To abuse or not abuse?

This is an all to common tale of a talented young athlete abused by her coach and sporting program.  It's easy enough at this distance to see this behaviour as the abuse it was, but how many parents (of young athletes) buy in to the justifications of charismatic and reputationally credible coaches?  How many are guilty of supporting lesser crimes of the same basic variety?  Just as sideline abuse is common, so are the crimes of poor judgement by parents and self-service by coaches. 
Is all this necessary?  Can it ever be justified to behave this way with a young athlete who dreams of excellence and a career in elite sport?  No, and for one simple reason: truths, whatever they may be, must be discovered for oneself.  Any idea, however well supported by experience or science, is a blunt tool until is it shaped and honed by the individual in the context of who they are.  Real meaning cannot be generated from the outside but from within.  Every individual must own their choices in order to understand them.
A coach, or a parent for that matter, may present an idea and join an athlete along a pathway of discovery and expression but, after a fashion, it is the athlete who must decide which tools to gather and which paths to walk.  Any other kind of leadership is simply a form of self-service; an example of the coach or of the parent satisfying their own wants and needs.  That is indeed shameful. 

Nike's shame: How famed running program ruined a young girl