Part1. Forgetting that they’re kids, and that a child’s
motivation is not world domination.
Children want to have fun and to be recognised for
their efforts. Superstars get lots of
attention and children can come to believe that attention/ recognition, and
achievement are interconnected. They
shouldn’t be. A hug, and praise for hard-work
is all that a child needs.
Part2. Tolerating disrespectful behaviour and reinforcing emotional
reactivity.
Sport can be cruel, and tennis is as tough
an environment as there is: one-on-one in a small arena surrounded by partisan
spectators. To heighten things even
further, every point has an obvious binary outcome: win or loss. Tennis players are modern gladiators and we should
expect and understand some anxiety as a natural reaction, but there are a couple
of vital points about emotional/ psychological stability that parents and coaches
must understand:
1)
If children do not learn to manage emotions when
they are young, they will have only a limited capacity to manage them when they
are older
2)
We cannot both be rational and emotional at the
same time and playing tennis and hitting tennis balls are not the same
thing. Developing a deeper tactical
appreciation and the ability to read an opponent and the rhythm of a match is
critical but very difficult to do when we are worried about making mistakes or
losing. Children must learn to be OK
with mistakes or they will be ruled by fear and tension
There is no excuse for tolerating
disrespectful/ rude behaviour and poor sportsmanship. Individuals with no respect for others will
struggle to respect themselves.
Part3. Misunderstanding the relationship between adult
performance and junior development.
Our best years
in sport are in our late 20s, if we can stay involved. The years before our 20s serve two critical
purposes: to provide a reason to stay involved, and to engineer a skills and
work capacity foundation. Why would
anyone persist with an activity over so many years? Because they enjoy it and it feels worthy of
their effort. It’s the nature of sport
to ‘eliminate’ individuals. Win move on;
lose and you’re out. Our role, as parents
and coaches, is to build a deeper, richer narrative. My favourite sport currently with respect to
the training experience is cycling.
Cycling has an outstanding social structure (peer to peer, novice to experienced,
child to adult) and it also provides a broad stimulus: long and slow, short and
fast, hills and flat. Children find
something to hang their hats on every week, and that’s exactly what must happen
if there is to be any chance they will stay for the long haul. Does your child’s tennis experience provide a
rich social and training experience?
The rare example of a junior succeeding on an adult stage
(e.g. Maria Sharapova winning Wimbledon as a 17 y/o) is not a signpost, it’s an
outlier. A statistical anomaly. You’re comfortable sending your children to
school 5 days/week, 40 weeks/ year, for 13 years without overwhelming either of
you with conversations about becoming doctors or lawyers so why do we treat sport
differently? Excellence is day to day,
week to week application to a curriculum of learning. 13 years of primary and secondary schooling before University and vocational
training is even contemplated. All
children are expected to develop a deep understanding of the core competencies. But most important of all, your child must
turn up every day, of every week, for a minimum of 10 years. Attendance/ adherence drives everything.
