The competitive mistakes adults make with children, part 2

Children need 'open/ free' minds during competition before they can be expected to grasp complex ideas and manage the anxiety of performance.  Contest is stressful all by itself and, rather than teaching them to relax, we tend to overload them from the start.  An analogy that fits would be teaching a young child how to swim in the surf.  Waves are an unusual natural physical phenomenon. There really isn’t anything else that recreates the threat and randomness of a set of waves.  As parents we get this, so we teach our children in stages: just the flowing water (no wave), then small waves up to the knees, waves around the hips etc.  Eventually we let them experience the full force of the surf but, even then, we’re not layering additional information, we just let them play.  Once it’s obvious they can cope, the options are there to add boards and devices, and events.

Competition should be introduced the same way: participation with an emphasis on self-discovery of skills and outcomes until there is obvious evidence that the child is psychologically stable.  Only then, can we safely introduce the threat of results and reading the other player/ team.  That’s not how it’s generally done.  Instead, results with match/ performance planning are instilled before children have learned to understand and accept their abilities.  Children don’t cope well with adult concepts, and none of us are comfortable analysing and planning performance before we are aware of what we can and can’t do.  It shouldn’t come as a surprise that many children collapse psychologically in competitive environments. 

How can we know when a child has come to terms with themselves in competition?  They consistently enjoy it!  The most obvious sign a child is not ok is that they’re unhappy, and sport is no different. 

What can be done when it’s understood that a child is not happy competing?  Take away the discussion about results and pull back on technical and tactical planning.  Just let them play.  Ask them only to empty the tank.  Given enough time, they will find their rhythm and begin to understand how to be effective.  Children can have help understanding outcomes and with execution, but there are some rules to follow:

·         Talk afterwards and not before

·         Keep it simple and about them

·         One or two ideas at a time